1. We should always send off and welcome home our husband (wife) by holding his (her) hand, kissing, and/or hugging at the front door when he (she) goes out for work and returns from work.


As for the seventh habit, we should always at least select one and practice it among “holding his (her) hand, kissing, and hugging.” Of course, we are free to practice all of them at the same time in the above. Here are True Father’s words concerning a wife’s attitude when her husband comes back from work. This speech was delivered at a Japanese Women’s Workshop in Korea in 1993.


When your husband comes back from work, you should not stay in a back room, but stay near the front door and say “Darling!” Every husband wants to hear such a word at least three times. When the husband returns from work fatigued and exhausted, he desperately wants to receive some words of comfort from his wife and children. If his wife says from the back of the house, away from the front door, “Who is it?” three times, without thinking of her husband’s exhaustion, it will completely deflate her husband’s loving feelings for his wife in an instant.

Therefore, taking these things into consideration, around the time of the husband’s anticipated return, you should wait for him near the entrance and then at the first sign of his return, say to him, “Darling! You’re back, welcome home!” Nothing else can give greater happiness to your husband than this. This greatly encourages your husband, and he thinks, “Sure enough, my home is my Heavenly Kingdom.” (December 21, 1993)[1]


Dae Mo Nim also spoke to wives about their attitudes when a husband leaves home for work in the morning.


You also should not simply let your husband go to work in the morning. At least hold his hand when you see him off. (July 13, 2004)[2]


Dae Mo Nim also spoke to husbands about their attitudes when a husband leaves home for work in the morning.


According to the wishes of almost all wives, when their husband leaves home for work, some wives want him to hug his wife, and other wives want him to hold his wife’s hands or kiss her. Have you done that? There are more husbands who have not done that than those who did. Those who say, “I have done that,” only practiced it once in a very great while. Is that true? That is not good.

You should make the wife’s hands and the husband’s hands, after the hands get hot loving feelings, remain hot all day long. If you do that, you will come to watch no other woman but your wife. Other women will become invisible to your eyes. Therefore, you must really become a husband who can hold your wife’s warm hands and who can affectionately hug your wife and kiss her. (January 28, 2002)[3]


A husband has to become a person who can give absolute love to his wife. In particular, some husbands in the Unification Church are expressionless in the morning. Look at men in the secular world. They are not like that. You have to become a husband who can embrace your beloved wife even in the morning. When you become a husband who touches her breasts and hands in the morning, your wife can live on such love at home during the day.

The person who lives and thrives on her husband’s love is the wife. When a wife eats such love, she can live during the day for the sake of her husband and children. Husbands do not realize this. When a husband leaves home for work, he should hold his wife’s hands, hug her tightly, touch her breast, or kiss her. If a husband acts in such a way, his wife will be enchanted and filled with feelings of euphoria, thinking, “I am the happiest woman in the world.” Is this true or not? (March 27, 2002)[4]


When Mr. Kamiyama stayed in Danbury Prison with True Father, regularly there was a time for prisoners to see their wives and families. When True Mother visited True Father, they always kissed each other intimately in public. True Father also ordered Mr. Kamiyama to kiss his wife, who regularly visited him, boldly in public without hesitation.

One of the things Mr. Kamiyama learned from True Father in prison was the importance of expressing affections between a husband and wife. In fact, watching Mr. Kamiyama’s hesitant attitude toward his wife, in prison True Father ordered him to “teach our members to express affections more openly between a husband and wife” after his release from the prison.[5]

As representatives and successors of True Parents, we Blessed couples are expected to inherit the manner of expressing our affections from True Parents and should accomplish one heart, one body, one mindset, and one harmony as a husband and wife just like True Parents. Many Blessed husbands seem to be poor at expressing affections to their wives. Throwing away the old culture of conjugal relations in the past Era before the Coming of Heaven, Blessed husbands need to learn and inherit the new heavenly culture of true conjugal love that True Parents have shown us as an ideal model. True Parents taught us, through their actual lives, the daily-life habits of true love in order for us to become the supremely happy couples.

Dae Mo Nim spoke to Blessed wives about the importance of getting rid of past daily-life habits in order to become a “wife whom the husband absolutely needs” at a 40-Day Women’s Cheongpyeong Workshop. She said:


If you think, “I feel embarrassed; I cannot act like that because of my shy character,” you will never be able to change yourself. A wife has to lead the family in order to establish a true family by all means. Only then can we create a true family here on earth and go to the spirit world as a true family.

The habits of our daily lives are very fearful things. If you fight and fail to become one with your husband here on earth, do you think you can immediately smile at him and spend time with him, even if you go to the Kingdom of Heaven? Because our daily-life habits are eternal, even if we go to the Kingdom of Heaven, these habits of our daily lives on earth will be applied fearfully exactly as they have been.  

Therefore, unless we change our daily-life habits, we cannot become filial sons and daughters in front of God. As I always say, we have to change the habits of our daily lives here on earth. (July 13, 2004)[6]


Therefore, it is very important for a husband and wife to learn and practice the ideal daily-life habits of true love here on earth in order to live a supremely happy life as the absolute, unique, unchanging, and eternal couple in the spirit world.

[1] Sun Myung Moon, Houkan Shurenkai Mikotobashu (Speeches at a Japanese women’s workshop in Korea) vol.2 (Tokyo: Kogensha, 1995), 55.

[2] Cheongpyeong Training Center, ed., The Role of a True Wife (Gapyeong-gun: Cheongpyeong Training Center, 2004), 13.

[3] Dae Mo Nim, “Husband is love,” CheongShim 6 (April 2002): 36.

[4] Dae Mo Nim, “Let’s know myself and change my life,” CheongShim 7 (November 2002): 26.

[5] “Interview with Mr. Kamiyama: Experience in Danbury prison,” Today’s World (July 1985): 30.

[6] Cheongpyeong Training Center, ed., Makotonaru Tsumano Yakuwari (Role of a true wife), 30-31.

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