2. We should always hold our spouse’s hand when we watch TV together.

3. We should always hold each other’s hand in bed and have a pillow-talk before going to sleep.


I would like to introduce Dae Mo Nim’s four speeches about the second and third habits of holding each other’s hand intimately while watching TV and while in bed before going to sleep.


True Parents hold each other’s hand while watching TV and while walking outside. True Parents always hold each other’s hand in their daily lives. You know that, don’t you? True Parents say, “Follow us by watching our lives.” I sometimes watch how True Parents are doing in their lives. When they watch TV, how are they doing? They are watching TV while holding each other’s hand. When they listen to music, they are listening while holding each other’s hand and responding to the rhythm. We Blessed couples must resemble such True Parents. (March 27, 2002)[1]  


You must not simply go to sleep when you sleep at night. You should sleep holding your husband’s hand or other part. …

When watching TV after dinner, you and your husband must not sit apart. For example, while watching TV, you should hold your husband’s hand and put it on your lap or put your hand on your husband’s knee or use his lap as a pillow. If you act in this way, you can receive love from your husband in many ways. But many wives do not act in such a way. Love is what you nurture and create with your own effort. (July 13, 2004)[2]


Some couples sit apart as if they were fighting when they watch TV, or when they watch their children playing. That is not good. We can say a husband and wife were utter strangers to each other in the past from some viewpoints. Therefore, without their effort to stay close and to care about each other, they gradually drift apart. Therefore, you have to sleep holding each other’s hand and watch TV holding each other’s hand. (August 24, 2004)[3]


On the bed at night, after scratching on the back of the spouse to increase comfortableness, or massaging the legs, or touching the ear and head and so on to each other, a husband and wife should hold each other’s hand and squeeze it tightly at the end to say “good night!” together before going to sleep. Such a husband and wife are a happy couple. (July 18, 2008)[4]


It seems that many Oriental Blessed husbands are not good at expressing love in their daily lives. They repeatedly recite “absolute faith, absolute love, and absolute obedience” with their lips. Nonetheless, when it comes to practicing true love with their own hands, many of them seem to be hesitant to follow True Parent’s and Dae Mo Nim’s advice in their daily lives as obediently as a small child. In particular, many middle-aged and older husbands in their 40s and above tend to resist throwing away old and familiar habits and avoid practicing completely new ones in their daily lives.

When we come to think of it, we Blessed couples have miraculously encountered the greatest teacher in human history who can teach us how to practice true love in our daily lives. Our True Parents have taught us how to attain the supreme happiness as a married couple, not only by words, but also by concretely showing us the best example (ideal model). We Blessed couples met a miraculous opportunity of inheriting the greatest heavenly fortune and happiness through our True Parents. Nonetheless, if we don’t practice their teachings about our conjugal life, the greatest heavenly fortune and happiness will fly away from us.

I recommend that all Blessed couples practice these words obediently by throwing away old ideas and habits of the fallen world in the Era before the Coming of Heaven. Those who cannot practice obediently due to some fixed old ideas of this fallen world are unfaithful and foolish persons who have given up becoming a married couple of the supreme happiness.

Unless we Blessed couples become the supremely happy couples and show the life-style of the genuinely happy couples, we can never succeed in witnessing and converting others. Only when we really become the supremely happy couples and show the life-style of the genuinely happy couples, we can succeed in witnessing the neighbors in our surrounding communities as well as restoring the relatives in our clans in accomplishing the mission of the clan messiah.

In the United States, the Mormon Church or the Church of the Latter-day Saints has now grown bigger than the Episcopal Church, which is affiliated with the Anglican Church of the United Kingdom. The key to its success consists in the happy family-life of its members. Reportedly, a very small number of its members have joined the Mormon Church because of its unique theology. The majority of its new members joined because they were attracted by the happy family-life of the Mormon Church members.

That will also be the case with the Unification Church. All the Blessed couples can now practice the “daily-life habits of true love that make the supremely happy couple” under the protection of the absolute good spirits of our ancestors in this new Era after the Coming of Heaven. Therefore, the time has come when we can live a truly happy family-life, and the Unification Church can grow explosively from now on.

I used to be a typical Japanese man who was poor at expressing love. Nonetheless, thanks to my job as a professor in the Unification ethics at Sun Moon University and then at CheongShim Graduate School of Theology, I have seriously researched and become very familiar with True Parent’s and Dae Mo Nim’s speeches on the practice of true love in our daily lives. After accumulating True Parent’s and Dae Mo Nim’s speeches on the practice of true love, I felt compelled to experiment them.

By faithfully experimenting them, my wife and I felt so peaceful and happy that we soon made it a rule, for example, to hold each other’s hand while in bed before going to sleep and while watching TV together. My wife and I always felt very peaceful and happy feelings through holding each other’s hand. As a result, my wife and I always held each other’s hand whenever possible because it felt very good. When she was alive on earth, my wife repeatedly said to me, “It is my happiest time to have a ‘pillow-talk’ holding each other’s hand in bed.”


[1] Dae Mo Nim, “Let’s know myself and change my life,” A speech at the 61st 40-day workshop, CheongShim 7 (November 2002): 27.

[2] Cheongpyeong Heaven and Earth Training Center, ed., Makotonaru Tsumano Yakuwari (Role of a true wife) (Gapyeong-gun: Cheongpyeong Heaven and Earth Training Center, 2004), 15. Hereafter the official name “Cheongpyeong Heaven and Earth Training Center” is abbreviated just as “Cheongpyeong Training Center” in the rest of this book.

[3] Cheongpyeong Training Center, ed., All Was Love: Dae Mo Nim’s Words and Testimonies of Grace (Japanese version), (Gapyeong-gun: Cheongpyeong Training Center, 2004), 124-125.

[4] Dae Mo Nim, “Let’s start 40-day course to witness the husband,” Shukufuku Katei (Blessed family) 51 (Winter 2008): 51.

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